The Surprise!

“You wear this on your hands when you feel cold” Zach read the clue and smiled. “Gloves” he wrote down in the white spaces of the crossword. ‘Come on Kathy, I didn’t think it would be that simple!’ Zach muttered almost to himself. He looked at the clock which told him it was only 8 o’clock and it would be another 2 hours before any store opened. So he decided to take his time and finish his crossword in the Panorama, his preferred newspaper, before he went around looking for more clues that his girlfriend had planted. 'Working as a journalist sure has its perks!' Zach smiled amusedly.

Kathy and Zach had been dating for almost 2 years now. One would never have seen a couple more in love. They were as perfect as Mistletoe and Christmas!

One day Kathy told Zach, “I have something really very important to tell you. But I will tell you that only if you can find me!” Zach pulled her in close and said, “There, I found you.. Now tell me.” Kathy wriggled out of his grasp and stood facing him. Holding his hands, so he does not try any more stunts like that, Kathy said,” Zach! I’m serious.. Listen to me carefully or you won’t get your gift!”

“Ah, it involves gifts ehh? You got my attention now sweety. Tell me about this chase that you’re leading me on”

“Ok listen then, like you already know, there is going to be a gift at the end of the trail. BUT, you will get it only if you can reach me. Exactly a week from now, when you open the paper to solve your crossword, you will find your first clue. All you have to do is keep following the clues, find me and you get that special something meant just for you!” Kathy beamed.

Zach smiled at her. She was such a romantic. And so very spontaneous. But with this spontaneity she had the grit to follow her ideas through. He knew that the chase that Kathy had designed for him would definitely be good and something they would never forget.

Come Friday and he opened his crossword, he instinctively knew the clue would be in the words that went across and not down. Kathy was not the sort of person who would let herself be pulled down. When she was emotionally disturbed, she threw herself even more in her work, never letting herself feel low. So Zach was pretty confident he would find his first clue in the across section. The other clues in the crossword included, ” an island nation of the Greater Antilles, situated in the Caribbean Sea”. And though she had said she wants them to go to Jamaica for a vacation, that wouldn’t be where he was required to go right now. She had kept mentioning how she wanted just those black gloves from her favourite store, ‘My Wardrobe’ and so that is where he would go first.

At 10, he was standing in front of the ‘My Wardrobe’ store, and he was the first customer in. Taking a little help from the sales staff, he found the black gloves that Kathy had wanted and went to the counter to bill for them. As the cashier was calculating his bill, Zach asked, “Excuse me sir, I am Zachary Smith, do you have anything for me?” “You mean besides the bill? No I’m afraid I do not sir. Is there anything specific that you were looking for?” Zach shook his head, paid the amount mentioned in the bill and thanked the cashier. “Mr.Smith, I hope you find what you are looking for.” The cashier said. “Sometimes we tend to miss things that are right in front of us. Have a nice day Mr.Smith”

“Hmm…right in front of us…had the cashier just given him his next clue?” Zach wondered. Right in front of the shop was a bus stand. Puzzled, Zach went across nonetheless. “Excuse me sir” he asked a man standing at the stop. “Could you please tell me where do the buses that leave from here go?” “All of them?” asked the man and on getting a nod from Zach, gave him the necessary information. All the destinations having no particular specialty to Kathy and him together, Zach concluded that must not be what the clue is.

Zach went and sat in his car, keeping the bag with the gloves in it on the seat next to him. A corner of the bill stuck out, and as Zach was putting the bill in properly, he glimpsed ‘Café Mondeu’ written on it. He pulled the bill out. It mentioned that anyone who possesses that particular bill was given a discount to any purchase worth up to 10dollars. “Café Mondeu huh Kathy?” Zach smiled. That had been the place they had gone for their first date.

Café Mondeu was only a couple of blocks away from ‘My Wardrobe’ and Zach reached there in less than 15mins. Making his way to the booth, Zach sat down and looked through the menu card. He spotted his favourite, cappuccino with white sugar and whipped cream, the price of which was 10 dollars exact! “How sweet of you Kathy to think about me so much!” having ordered his coffee, Zach sat sipping it slowly, wondering what the next clue could be. As this was a complimentary coffee, he did not get any bill with it. Thus wondering what to do next, Zach kept playing with/rotating the coffee cup in his hand. After almost the third time that Zach rotated that cup, he looked down at it. Splashed across it in bright colours was an advertisement of a Radio channel. They were having an entire show for those who wanted to dedicate songs to their loved ones. And it was supposed to start at 11 o’clock exactly. Zach looked at his watch; it was already ten past 11.

He hurried out to his car and switched on the radio. ‘ Nothing’s gonna change my love for you’ was already on air. Zach hoped he hadn’t missed the dedication from Kathy. When the Rj came back on air after the song saying, “And that was our first dedicated song of the show. Ricky man, your one lucky guy!” “Next up on Master Sounds FM we have Kathy dedicating the Graduation song to all her friends” Zach turned the volume up as Kathy’s voice came on air. “ Guys I love you sooo much. I do hope we stay in touch always!” turning down the volume, Zach shook his head. This was not his Kathy. This was some high-school graduating kid, judging from her over enthusiastic voice. Zach enjoyed the song while finishing his coffee. The song descended into advertisements broadcasting the various sponsors and their products, and then there was a jingle about how the Master Sounds FM Radio Station was the best in town and how this totally different show had callers dedicating songs from 3 days prior to the actual show! By the time the Rj came back on air, Zach was getting a little impatient at having nothing to do. With his usual exuberance the Rj introduced their next caller, another Kathy! Zach turned the volume up again as the first strings of ‘All You Need Is Love’ started playing. The Rj asked Kathy who she was dedicating this song to and what her message was. “This song is for my boyfriend Zach. As for the message, he’ll know after hearing the song!”

Zach remembered how Kathy had wanted the Beatles cd and how it was out of stock in most shops that they frequented. Both of them had gone to all the music stores looking for that cd, as she had just wanted it so very desperately. Kathy had been like an inconsolable child that day, Zach recalled as he made his way to the store where they finally found the cd, ‘Melody’s melodies’. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but he knew he would figure it out when he reached there.....

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(to be continued..)

Faltering Hopes...

“Click”….. The phone line went dead. She put the receiver back into its cradle. Sitting on her chair she closed her eyes, trying desperately to control the tears that had formed in her eyes and were threatening to pour out. She couldn’t cry. She was strong, and strong girls don’t cry. Her hands were on her knees and a faraway look in the eyes which had been twinkling just a few moments back.

She felt a complete and utter sense of loss. But how could it be described as a loss, something that was never really her’s. Her dreams had been shattered, her hopes dead. What all she had imagined and what had actually happened! She closed her eyes again wanting desperately to melt into the floor and just vanish away. But it wasn’t possible, she knew. Though she tried to be discreet, a lot of people around her were aware of her feelings for him. The same teasing which she once secretly enjoyed was something she was dreading to face. Her friends, she could talk to, but what about the others who would be oblivious to this turn of events and continue to tease her? She did not have the strength to see all the pitiful faces; those sympathetic smiles. She wanted to disappear, just be a nobody. Her life was empty if he could not share it with her. The incident a few minutes back had completely clogged her mind, made her numb, incapable of forming any rational thought.

Wanting to distract herself, she decided to meet up with her friends. All through the evening, the conversation replayed itself in her mind, bringing a fresh flow of tears in her eyes. Those tears, which she knew she must control. It was hard, but not impossible. She couldn’t burden others with her own problems. They had their own. She had to keep all the thoughts, the feelings and pain inside her. She had to have the guts to face the world. But mostly she had to accept what had happened before she could tell it, even to her best friends.

The thoughts, those hurtful moments, she recorded them in her diary. But his wonderful face; soft, chocolate brown eyes and his cute grin kept presenting itself in front of her and she had to live with it. As a hard as she tried, she couldn’t get rid of those eyes of his which kept popping in her mind and making her want to shout. Her head started swooning; and when she closed her eyes to stop from spinning, she recalled the phone conversation which they had had. “No. I just don’t feel the same way” was the sentence that was torturing her. She had just told him her most important secret, had opened up her heart to him, had called, wishing and wishing deeply for him to accept her. She had even weaved a beautiful dreamland just for the two of them. But her dreamland got crushed under the force of just one word, “No.” her heart ached when she heard it. “What’s the reason?” she asked him, trying desperately for the last time to make him realize how much he meant to her. But he broke her heart anyway.

They had a lot of common friends and she was bound to run into him sooner or later. The thought that once brought happiness was something she wanted to avoid now. She didn’t want to see him again, because she knew that her heart would pine for his love again- something that she would have to contend living without. He was never going to be hers anymore. Maybe his heart belonged to someone else already!

She kept thinking of the times when they had been together and how she mistook his friendliness to be his love for her. Did her own feelings blind her so much that she could not see the reality as it was? “Didn’t his eyes twinkle just for me? Was that smile not really special?” she felt, as she closed the diary into which she had just filled in this new entry. It was late night when she crept upstairs and entered her bed. Now in the darkness of the room and the comfort of being alone, her heart opened again, wider than ever, and she didn’t try to stop the tears from finally pouring out...

Of Friendship And Hope.....

All of sudden..out of the blue..it pops into my mind.. those fun and happy days of childhood when responsibilities were a minor speck on the horizon. Those days of laughter, of running around, of naughtiness..all such beautiful memories of time spent.

And as it always does, even today, memories of you accompany those of my childhood days. How can they not, you formed such a big part of it. The first thing that always comes to mind is us leaning against the bars in the corridors of our school, just talking.. being in different classes never made a difference to us.

This is just a memoir of sorts. A tribute to the friendship which lay the basis of all my friendships after that. This is just to tell You, my best friend of all my growing up years, we may not be as close as we once were. I miss that so much I can’t even begin to explain. Today we may not be sharing the same bond we used to, but I always look back with fondness at the time we spent together.

Life is not, and never will be, a bed of roses. I have gone through various feelings of hurt, pain, anger, betrayal, sadness, loneliness, loss, disappointment, and even the hope that our relation may revive to be what it once was. But now I feel a sense of calmness. I no longer go through extreme emotions, of being too happy when we share a good moment or of sadness when we don’t even meet. That is because we have both changed over the years. And what I was refusing to accept for quite many years is that we have grown up individually.

Expecting our relation to go back to what it was is not going to be possible anymore. What is possible though, is to begin a new chapter in our lives. We could get to know each other now; try to understand the kind of people we have become. This is not a fairytale that everything will just fall into its own place. This is reality, and the challenges and unpredictability of it is what makes it so wonderful..so much more beautiful than a fairytale itself.

So my dear friend, it is with fondness that I look back to the days of our past, and with a kind of anxious excitement to our future…wondering, if there is any magic in store for us……

Topsy-Turvy Matters!

It’s funny what you feel when you want to feel nothing anything at all..

You want the time to run, but all it does is stall.

A peculiar action, a funny trait;

Why is it so endearing that it goes to the heart straight?

A taunt, a joke, a pulling of the leg,

Just makes you laugh and doesn’t pull you down a peg.

Why when the eyes meet you feel out of breath,

Trying to understand this connection just makes you fret.

Why do you search for magic when there’s none at all?

Why do you try to run, when you know you’re going to fall?

It’s funny, how in blind alleys we always rush,

If it’s supposed to feel good, why is it called a crush??

He’s your buddy, your friend, your closest pal,

If that’s true, why this confusion at all?

Why when you know it never was, and will never be,

Should you still remain silent, or of the burden be free?

For him all happiness, joy and success you know you will call,

But it’s still funny what you feel; when you want to feel nothing at all . . . . .

Jus a li'l while back...

Wasn’t it just a little while back that we were kids, running around the table, chasing each other? Playing, teasing, squabbling without a care in the world. Never paying much attention to anything around us, we were always so immersed in our own play.

It’s like I blinked and everything is different now. The table has changed, the cupboards have changed and so have the walls. But most of all you have changed. You are now a Grown-up! Somehow that is the hardest thing for me to come to terms with.

You are no longer that cute little kid who painted my childhood with such fun splashes of colour. You are now this boy trying to find a footing in the adult world.

You are now this person I call friend. Someone who advices me, criticizes my mistakes and even someone I can have life-talks with!

When?? When did all this happen? What happened to that cute little boy who was always so curious about things, but too shy to ask? That person who blindly believed that he had a smaller appetite when I told him so, just cuz I wanted the bigger share of the cake? Who got frustrated when I teased him? Where did he go?

I always wish time would freeze and we remain what we are now. But not so with you. With you, I wish time would go back to when we were little kids, and we could still run around the table chasing each other…

I wonder...

I wonder if there will be someone who would pull at our pony tails and give a cheeky grin when we are vexed with him...

Someone who would act in weird ways, just so we can say, “ Ugach PS maru nakos..”

I wonder if I’ll meet again, someone so brainy, that she is in one of the top universities, and yet can be a child who says “ Aye aaj mala jasta tras dyaycha nahi kay...”

Someone who’s love and fascination for the frogs, lizards, snakes is indirectly proportional to our affinity towards them...

I wonder if I can find someone who manages to get stuck under a bench, providing an endless series of laughter, even years after the incident...

Someone who is brave enough to be a sailor, and yet so shy and reserved in is bearing...

Someone who can find a mathematical base to everything in life… and who would prove it to you!

I wonder if there will be someone, who though from the outside may seem changed, is still the same sweet, innocent girl that you have always known...

Someone who would definitely qualify as the master chef to us, simply for all the yummy cakes she makes...

I wonder how anyone can look so beautiful and yet be so innocently unaware of it...

Someone who has the most beautiful voice that binds us together in its melody...

I wonder if anyone can fill the place of someone who defines the term “best friends” to you, even years after you became friends...

I wonder if I'll meet again such wonderful people, who are quite unparalleled in the place that they hold in my life and heart.. they are not just my friends, they are a link, to my past and memories so beautiful that can’t be put into words...

I wonder how anyone can be two times lucky and meet another bunch of equally crazy and eccentric people who help me shape the person I am today...

I wonder if I’ll meet someone who always has his camera with him to capture the memories of moments spent together...

Someone who is always royally late, and we still wait around for him...

I wonder if I will find again someone who walks with a funny swagger and who denies it when we walk like him too...

Someone who cracks the sickest jokes, but we still laugh on them anyway...

Someone to whom life a challenge meant to be enjoyed and how everything should include Mazze...

I wonder if I can ever find words fit enough to tell them how much they mean to me… If I may take the privilege of quoting lines from a song called ‘Thank you’ by Sarah Connor...

“ I want to thank you for all that you are..
Thank you for being in my life when it’s dark..
Thank you for bringing me joy each day
I love you more than any words can say…”

Assemblage of some Random Thoughts...

This being my very first tryst with the world of blogging, I am not really sure what I want to get out there. I feel like a small child now standing at the entrance of a new and exciting world that would provide me with endless possibilities to think, feel, create, challenge and rediscover myself, which of course at that age I didn’t realize I was doing! It is like finally allowing that part of me that I always harboured, to breathe. It’s like accepting the presence of someone you know you’ve always loved but always trying to pretend it didn’t matter.

I really do feel like I’ve been left loose at a candy store and I am unable to decide which candy to give my attention to first!!

My thoughts maybe very random and haphazardly put, but I’ve decided to let it remain the way it is, without refining it ; because refining it would only make it shiny, glossy and entirely unreal like most things we see these days. And I honestly hate the superficial armour people seem to hide behind. I mean, if you can’t be what you really are, what is the point of being at all? How many times are you going to change yourself just because Someone else does not appreciate you. That, is one of the reasons why I like writing, it lets you be who you are. There is no one you have to please, no one to explain anything to. It is just a free expression of your thoughts.

Sometimes when I write, it surprises even me to read what I’ve been thinking. An unrestrained flow of thoughts is one of the most beautiful things that I’ve experienced. I find I discover a new aspect of mine every time I write a piece, whatever the underlying idea maybe.

And that is probably why I find it apt to head my first blog as “Rediscovering Myself”. Like Albert Einstein has said, “You can go through life as if nothing is a miracle; or you can go through life as though everything is….”

Me? I’m just going through life looking for miracles!!